Her behavior is determined in part on the basis of principles rather than pleasure or pain.
19. She integrates what she knows and lives by that integrated knowledge.
3. Training in what sex may mean to marriage will also help her
make a successful wife.”
Advice from Pictoral Medical Guide (1954)
I found an old book from 1954 that my grandmother actually used in her 1950′s housewife days. A mature woman has an attitude toward sex, love and marriage compatible with adulthood.
20. She depends upon adult accomplishments for prestige.
10. She does not easily take offense at slights or what she interprets as slights.
15. She understands the finesse of social relationships.
5. She will endure present discomfort and sacrifice for future gain.
18. The self-stretching process, although it takes a little longer, can be accomplished without pain or discomfort, and in the stretching the girl acquires a great deal of information about her pelvis which will be important later on in her married life.”. She uses the present rather than the past as a point of departure.
11. It’s quite interesting and sometimes funny to see the differences in the expectations of women in that time compared to now. She carries into marriage the desirable elements of courtship but not the elements of uncertainty.
22. She accepts the responsibility for her own acts. She accepts her chronological age for what it is.
Preparation for Marriage
Home-making is a Fine Art:
The Way to a Man’s Heart:
The Housewife at Work
Here is a chart taken from the book that I drew up:
“The girl about to marry may well ponder the question, “Am I marriageable?” A description of the mature adult is worked out by Henry Bowman in a recent book and is most helpful in answering the question:
“Recent polls have shown that men still consider skill in cooking and homemaking highly desirable in the women they marry.” On polls in which men and women rated traits in a mate that they found most desirable, “men placed considerably more emphasis than women on: (1) good cook and housekeeper; (2) good looks; (3) desire for home life and children.”
Touchstones of Mature Behavior
Ready to be a wife?
“Excesses are signs of immaturity–excess drinking, smoking, eating, fondness for clothes, gambling and quarreling. Other signs of immaturity are hysteria, temper tantrums, the desire to have too much attention, intolerance, and inconstancy. The hypochondriac woman always complaining of headaches, backaches, dizzy spells, choking sensations where there is no physical basis is an immature person. The foregoing immature reactions result in an unhappy marriage.”
“If a wife can make a career of homemaking, content to double the value of her husband’s income by her art and skill in buying, preparing and managing the raw materials that make her comfortable living, she need never feel that she is doing less than her share in the work of the world. The services she provides for her husband and their children are, even in money value, generally the equivalent of the dollars and cents brought in by the man. She can, if she will, take an intelligent interest in what is going on outside her home, both locally and in national and international affairs. She must, if she is to be no handicap to husband and children, accept some responsibilities for communitiy or other outside doings which interest her enough to prevent her becoming a drag on her children as they grow up, or on her husband as he develops, or on her own development as a mature person.”
1. She is heterosexual.
21. She has some knowledge of social life, how it is organized, what the requirements are for living in a society.
4. She is adequately prepared for marriage.
The Immature Woman
“The girl who knows how to feed her
family and care for her home begins married life with many odds in her
favor. A mature woman controls her behavior, acknowledging possible undesirable urges and appetites in herself, but controlling them.
17. The mature woman is independent of her parents.
13. She makes concessions to others, but at the same time she does not become too dependent upon them.
6. A mature woman does not depend too much upon flattery, praise and compliments.
14. She faces an unalterable situation in which she has a deep interest, with poise and a minimum of conflict.
9. A mature woman lives in a world of reality.
8. A mature woman profits by her own experience and the experience of others.
2. It is called “Pictoral Medical Guide”, and was published in 1954 with writings by 42 specialists at the time.
Stretching Herself for the Wedding Night:
Homemaking as a Career:
“It is preferable for the girl to stretch herself rather than to have the doctor resort to cutting the hymen or stretching under anesthesia.
16. She has a reasonable respect for authority and tradition.